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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24527425">What Can I Do Now?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanime17/pseuds/lanime17'>lanime17</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Current Events, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Social Issues, Social Media</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:21:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24527425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanime17/pseuds/lanime17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick is working through his emotions as world events crash into his heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Can I Do Now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have been distraught over the events of current world and felt writing about them and trying to put vocabulary to how I feel would help. I initially didn't know if I would share them or not, it was just an exercise for me and my mental health. Everyone feels differently about the world as it is right now. Everyone is allowed to feel however they choose. Please remember this comes from a place of love and peace and hope and support. Please be kind (to all).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David glanced down at the clock on his laptop and gasped. Had he really been sitting there that long?  The sun was high in the sky, shining brightly through the window of the upstairs office. He reached for his coffee mug to find it cold and half finished. He had been engrossed in all of the events online and in the world. Having finished the business for the store in about an hour, he wandered all over the internet checking the news and social media feeds finding outlets for his frustration and anger and apparently time had gotten away from him. </p>
<p>The recent world events had ignited a fire within him that left a gaping hole needing to be filled with action and words that felt unlimited in nature. He’d searched resources to share with his followers and some for his own personal edification. He’d messaged people that he had considered friends at one point in his life and followed some new accounts in the process of making donations and reposting and retweeting with his own insights included. While he couldn’t fully ever understand nor comprehend the outrage and torment of those that have had to endure systemic racism, he had been affected by what he saw and experienced first hand while living in New York. </p>
<p>He often felt divided in half. On one side he was the pinnacle desired by this country: rich, white male. On the other side he was a pansexual who received more than his fair share of hurt, discrimination, pain and hate. While the former was what could be quantified on a document, the latter was how he qualified himself as a human. Just as his race and his socio-economic status could open doors and provide opportunities, his sexuality and social habits could just as easily slam those doors shut with a reverberation that could be felt in his bones. Those emotions spurred his motion in the past few days to reach out and stand in solidarity with those who could not stand for themselves and to challenge others to stand with him, raise funds, create awareness and bring to light the fight that had been going on since the inception of the “greatest nation in the world.”</p>
<p>He reached and stretched and called out from his desk, “Patrick?”  He waited a beat, expecting to hear a response from the bedroom or downstairs, but his question was only met with silence. He grabbed the now cold coffee mug and began to search for his husband as he hadn’t seen him since breakfast. He peeked into the bedroom and bathroom to find both empty. He trotted down the stairs to find the living room unoccupied as well. Checking the rest of the rooms downstairs and finding them equally vacant, he moved to the back of the house through the kitchen and onto the porch. Looking out over the yard, he finally saw Patrick sitting on the glider by the old oak tree, staring off into the distance. </p>
<p>“Honey?” David called in his direction, yet Patrick didn’t respond. David walked out to the edge of the property and as he approached Patrick, he placed his hand on Patrick’s shoulder, letting him know he was there. Patrick jumped at the touch, clearly lost in thought.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s just me.” David assured. Patrick looked up and behind to make brief eye contact with David. He placed his hand over David’s, acknowledging his presence, but choosing to look away, trying to hide his tears. “Whatcha’ doing out here?” David asked.<br/>“Just sitting and thinking,” Patrick replied. And while Patrick could hide his face from David to steel his emotions, his voice was a traitor and David knew it immediately.</p>
<p>“Oh honey,” David sighed as he rounded the back of the swing and sat down next to Patrick placing his hands on Patrick’s knees and seeing for the first time that his husband was upset. “What’s going on?” David asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Patrick responded. “I don’t know what to say, what to do, how to act. My heart is breaking about what is going on in the world and I feel like I don’t have any context or right to feel that way, but I do. I want to help, I want to be a part of something that makes things better. I just don’t know what right, if any, that I have to speak out on things I am in no way qualified to speak about. </p>
<p>But then I think about my friends, here and from college and other jobs and back home and I don’t want them to be sad or hurt or angry and I know they are and I don’t know what to do for them or is it even my place to think that? I’m just so full of so many emotions right now I don’t even know how to process them or separate them or disentangle them so I can figure out what to do next. </p>
<p>I am a fixer David. I fix things. I see a problem and I figure out how to solve it. I don’t know how to solve this problem. I don’t know what to do to fix it.”</p>
<p>At this point, David took both of Patrick’s hands into his own, mostly to comfort but also to still their constant shaking as he said, “Woah, breathe.” Patrick’s head dropped to his chin as he finally inhaled after expelling only a miniscule of thoughts that had been circling in his head and clouding his heart for the past day. </p>
<p>“Look at me,” David asked. Patrick shook his head and kept his eyes down. He felt like a failure. He felt guilt and shame on top of guilt and shame for having no right to feel either of those emotions. When Patrick didn’t respond, David took Patrick’s face in his hands and gently guided it upwards until Patrick’s tear-soaked eyes met David’s.</p>
<p>“The world is a messed up place right now. There is so much going on that we have no control over and no one expects you to fix the world; not your friends, not your family and not me. Four hundred years of oppression cannot be undone by a social media post. It’s going to take all of us. It’s going to take a lot of work. It’s going to take reading and researching and reflecting and writing and crucial conversations with people that have the power to make the changes we want to see in the world. We can’t undo four hundred years of history in one afternoon. Okay?”</p>
<p>Patrick dipped his head to the side, allowing David to cradle his cheek and catch his tears. </p>
<p>“What we can do is reach out to the ones we love and ask what they need us to do. We can read and share our thoughts with others. We can donate to causes we feel are important. We can vote to put people in power that can change the laws to begin to undo the wrongs that have been done. We can encourage others to vote. We can come together with others, even if right now it is only virtually, to support and learn and listen. We can provide for our community in whatever way that we can from where we are. Most importantly, we can use our voices to communicate to each other what we are seeing, thinking and feeling.”</p>
<p>Patrick lifted his head. “But what if it’s not enough?” David placed both of his hands on Patrick’s chest. He felt Patrick’s heart beating strong. David paused while Patrick waited with anticipation hoping his husband would have the answer.</p>
<p>“It may not be. But then we will get up tomorrow and do it again. And each day we will gather more people and more support and find allies that can help all of us keep moving forward. There will be setbacks and sorrow and hurt and anger. We will take those emotions and use it to fuel us to keep fighting for the basic human rights for those of us that cannot fight anymore. We will find compassion amongst one another. We will keep our end goal in mind. We will find new ways to make progress. And when we feel the fight leave us, we will pass on the torch to others so that they can help further the cause until we are ready to join them again.”</p>
<p>“What can I do now?” Patrick asked.</p>
<p>“Come with me. I’ll show you.” David stood, taking Patrick’s hands and leading him back to the house.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Resources I have found helpful:<br/><a href="https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#">Ways to Help</a><br/><a href="https://www.ibramxkendi.com/essays-1"> Essays by Ibram X. Kendi</a><br/><a href="https://www.professorcarolanderson.org/"> Professor Carol Anderson</a><br/><a href="http://www.clintsmithiii.com/"> Clint Smith</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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